How to Procrastinate – Disney Style

Procrastination, it happens. You can be the brightest honors student around, but you’re still not going to finish a 10-page paper on the Cold War until four hours before it’s due.

When you first get an assignment, there’s plenty of time to push off your work. It’s sunny outside! Go play! You’re only soaking up the moment.

As the deadline slowly creeps up, you decide to at least outline your work to feel like you’ve done something.

But, alas! How can anyone work in the filth known as your room?! Did that pile of clothes just move?

One simply cannot prepare academic excellence in a pig sty! You pull out your vacuum, duster, rags, mops, floor wax, a mask and gloves.

You, however, can’t be expected to clean in silence. You spend another two hours creating the greatest cleaning playlist Spotify has ever seen.

As you huff and puff cleaning your room, you notice how out of shape you are. This inspires you to throw on a pair of running shorts and sneakers and train like an Olympian.

Don’t tell your parents about your procrastinating crisis. They’ll tell you to suck it up and get it done.

Finally, you decide to chain yourself to the desk and get it done. You WILL do this. You ARE brilliant.

The clock is almost midnight. Your flanges practically fly off your hand from churning out the words.

You’ve been up for 28 hours without sleep. An IV with coffee never sounded better.

Just a few…more…woooorrrrdssss…

You made it!

Breathlessly, you collapse onto your bed and finally get a solid three hours of sleep.

I will never, ever, ever, ever do that again, you swear to yourself… Until next week’s philosophy paper is due.

Note: The author of this post is in no way, shape, or form procrastinating on a history paper due this Thursday. Not at all.

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